Monday, December 8, 2014

Flame Bait

Definition taken from Urban Dictionary: 

"1) Flame bait is a message posted to a public Internet discussion group, such as a forum, newsgroup or mailing list, with the intent of provoking an angry response (a "flame") or argument over a topic the "troll" (original poster provoking angry response) often has no real interest in, and finds humour, or entertainment in reactions.

2) Flame bait can be a person unfamiliar with a certain discussion/topic on an internet discussion group, possibly saying things that would provoke an angry, teasing, or overall negative response.

ex. KingR3aper: Starcraft II is going to suck. It is going to be the same thing as Starcraft I with new graphics. You're all losers."

I thought I would preface this post with this very in depth definition, since I was accused of being a flame baiter last night. Who would accuse me of this and where? Well, first of all, I should probably let you know that I was at it again on Yahoo Answers last night asking a very important cat question. I know it's been a while but I've been laying low from Yahoo Answers the last few months ever since I got red flagged back in March from asking what the best way was to sneak your cat through airport security. I was in the airport on my way to my sisters wedding and got bored so I thought I would ask. I wanted to know which technique would be best: hiding the cat in a guitar case or hiding her in my front hoodie pocket. I mean who really wants to pay an extra $150 to bring an animal on board when it's just a carry on item. Amiright?? Anyways, within 10 minutes of asking, my question got reported and was taken down. So, to all the very few fans in my blog fan club that have been nagging me to update more frequently, now you know why I haven't posted--I've been off the grid avoiding the NSA's wrath. 

So, earlier in the week, my sister Emily blogged about how she's been struggling trying to get her youngest child to sleep at night. He climbs out of his crib as soon as my sister puts him down for the night. She joked that she was contemplating lining the top of his crib frame with thumb tacs so to be like a prisoner surrounded by barbed wire.  This genius idea inspired me to write the following question on Yahoo Answers: 

Question: Can you sleep train a cat like you would a human baby/toddler?

I've been having a lot of trouble the past few weeks with one of my cats. She has refused to stay in her cat bed at night and will scratch at the door until i come and let her out. I have tried transferring her to a pack n' play but she jumps right out of that as well. Have any of y'all found a solution that works. I'm hesitant to give her kennel treatment, but I'm going crazy over here since i haven't been getting much sleep lately. I've also thought about glue-gunning thumb tacs to the rim of the pack n' play to prevent her from jumping out. Has anyone tried something like that?? Please help! Thanks in advance!


1) No, it will not work in cats. They are not crate trainable like dogs. Just put her in a room away from you. Cats are crepuscular hunters, meaning they are up at twilight and just before dawn.

2) first off, one thing you need to know is that cats are nocturnal. That is, they are primarily awake at night. A cat is not going to stay in a cat bed, unless it is the cat's idea. They are naturally defiant pets, with strong opinions. In truth, the are not the easiest to train. 

The easiest animals to train are pack animals. This is because it is in their nature to want to follow the most dominant member in a pack. Usually one takes the lead, and there is safety and security in falling into a role at some rank withn the group.

Solitary animals by contrast, live life for themselves. They only ever seek eachother out for either fighting or mating purposes, and generally percieve others of the same species as either threats or competitors. Their interaction with other animals, people included, are very need-based. Typically, you will only hear from a solitary animal when it either wants or needs something. Whether it comes when you call it by name is hit or miss.

Cat's are solitary animals. Therefore, they are going to resist any sort of training you attempt. That, and they are most well-conditioned to be awake and alert in the dark. It can be a very black night, with almost nothing but the glow of a clock, and a cat will be perfectly comfortable. He or she will see just fine, and will thus want to stalk around, play whatever games cats play, and stalk strange noises, probably in a misguided attempt to capture mice.

Keeping a cat in a pack 'n play is an excercize in futility, as you have already seen. High walls? I've seen a cat leap 8 feet in one bound. And where it cant jump, it can climb, or just scratch til the mesh that's holding it back rips.

So, what can you expect from kenneling a cat? You can expect the cat to meow in protest. To scratch at anything it can reach, and you can also expect that said cat is going to run and hide the moment you indicate it's time to go to it's cage.

It's really best to let a cat do it's own thing at night. Have a spray bottle ready with some distilled water in it (distilled wont grow mold if the bottle is lost or a while or gets left out in the sun) and just spray the cat if it gets too obnoxious. That, or roll up some socks and toss them at the cat if it gets obnoxious.

Absolutely do not do the thing with thumb tacks. Not only is that simply cruel, but also presents a danger to yourself. The cat will likely get injured, or will just learn to jump over the railing instead of onto it. Believe me, cats are too smart for this.

The best thing you can do is just learn to get used to a cat's activity at night. Leave doors open so the cat can come and go as it pleases, and maybe leave some toys out for it to play with.

One option you may want to consider is to play with your cat an hour or so before you want to go to bed. I mean play hard, and get the cat worn out. Then, it might want to cuddle, and it will bond with you more.

And that's the best advice I can give.

3) Reported for Flame Baiting. You really joking about animal abuse is funny? Get Help.

And there you have it folks. Since the second response was so good I thought I would ask him a follow up question of whether using vinegar instead of water would work just as well for spraying the cat. I'll keep you posted if he responds :)

No comments: