Sharon Sparkles

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I am easily entertained. So over break, I had a little bit more free time and one night I got bored and started reading some Yahoo Questions and Answers.  I noticed a trend that people generally respond to cat and/or animal questions a lot faster than other questions.  So what did I do next, you might ask? I created a pseudo Crazy Cat Lady Yahoo account: sharonsmithsparkles. (Sparkles is one of my pseudo cat's name)  The following are a few of the questions I have asked and the very speedy answers (some even fascinating, at that) that followed:

Question 1:

What's the best way to dye your cat's hair?

This is a two part question I guess :) So first off, I learned my cat has become pregnant. She has black hair and I don't want her whole litter of kittens to have black hair also. I asume that if I dye her hair blonde than her kittens will take on those blonde genes too. Is there any harm to my cat if I dye her hair? Also, if there is no harm, what is the best way to do it? Will the Just for Men beard dye I got from the dollar store work? Thanks!

Answers:

1) If you dye your cat's hair it will have no effect on the kittens. Living creatures pass traits to their offspring by passing on genes. The cat's hair color is a part of it's genetics and the genes it passes to it's kittens cannot be altered. If the cat's mate was a different color than black it might mean some of kittens will not have black hair, because the kittens get some of the mate's genes too, but no chemical hair dye can change the genetic make up of the cat.

Please don't dye your cat's hair, it's cruel to the animal and will have no effect on the babies

Source(s):

Go do some research on genetics, or take a basic biology lesson

2) I can't believe this question! Are you out of your mind. I am disgusted that you have so little common sense. Dying a cat's hair is very harmful to the cat and will harm the kittens also. Stop being so silly and ignorant. The colour of the kittens won't change because of coloring the mother's coat. The colour of the kittens depends on the mother's and father cats genes.

3) LOL what, dying a cat's hair would be harmful for your cat and changing your cats coat will not change the kittens genes. Also just because you have a black cat does not mean that all the kittens will have a black coat and if you didn't want black cats why didn't you have your female cat fixed like a smart person would have done??

4) It is dangerous and harmful to dye a cats hair and it definitely does not change what color the babies will be. That is based on the genes from both the mother and father cat and that is something that cannot be changed. Just enjoy them the way that they are.

5) Please tell me you aren't serious. Hair dye doesn't change the genes, all it does is remove pigment. The only thing it will do is hurt your cat. If you really think hair dye changes genes, you need to go back to fourth grade.

6) Firstly, yes, dying your cats hair WILL harm your cat. If you really want your cat a different colour, use your imagination or get some coloured glasses.

7) Please don't do it, because the chemicals in the dye isnt healthy and that is just silly.

8) Dyeing its hair won't change any genes. The kittens will still be black.

9) Lol, ur funny. Sad that some people dont get ur joking. Anyway, first of all, you obviously can't change the cats genes by dying its hair and the kittens will still probably inherit its black hair anyway, but im sure you already knew that. And secondly it not healthy to dye animal hair but if you must they do make shampoos specifically for animals that will dye their hair (Although i doubt it works on dark fur like black). Thats how you see these pink and blue and yellow poodles around.

Question 2:

Do all cats hibernate?

My cat has been asleep for the past three days. She will not move and has been holding her breath the whole time. Usually she will be playful like this for two hours. But we are going on to day three and she usually can't pull a joke like this for this long. So, is it typical for cats to hibernate in January like bears and all other mammals? Thanks!

Answers:

1) Cats don't hibernate. If your cat is not breathing, it is more likely than not, dead.

2) Another stupid troll trick to make us all jump and fetch at the "trickiness" of the question and tell the poor unsuspecting cat owner that her cat is really dead and cats don't hibernate. We've heard them all. Go read a book.

3)

Cats do not hibernate. It souds unnormal to me. What i would do is take him/her to the vet to check your cat out. It souds to me as if your cat has passed. Don't take that opion! Your best bet is to go to the vet to determine you issue.

sorry not a vet,
Lizzy :)

Source(s):

ME! :)

Question 3:

Are pet shops required to have 24 hour return policies?

For the longest time I have wanted a playmate for my cat, Sparkles. Sparkles is a minskin and I have always pictured her having a chiwawa dog as a playmate. So, today I went down to the pet shop to purchase a chiwawa, but they did not have any. It was ok though (or so I thought) because I fell in love with another dog which I thought would resemble a chiwawa after a quick grooming. I purchased a Yorkie Terrier (not the cheapest dogs in case your wondering). So anyways, I came home and got out clippers and trimmed her down with the #1 but sadly, she does not resemble the chiwawa I was hoping for :( Also she has become very aggressive to my Sparkles and now I'm stuck with a dog that is not longer cute and looks nothing like a chiwawa. So my question is, are all mall pet shops required to have a 24 hour return policy? I feel like I just threw $550 away! I had no idea that the cute, innocent looking dog I bought would really turn out to be so hostile towards my cat! Please let me know ASAP. Thanks!

Answers:

1) They should have told you if they did have any kind of return policy. That would be something you would have to take up with the breeder that provided the store with the puppy. It will most likely be a crappy puppy mill so don't expect to get your money back.

2) Of course they are not required to give you your money back. You shaved down the dog!!! You can't just buy any breed and try to customize it to look like another breed. Learn to love the dog for who she is or if you can't give her to a no kill shelter or the Humane Society. You bought a Yorkie and you got a Yorkie. It isn't the dogs fault.

Source(s):

Long time dog owner

 3) Sparkles is a cute name for a cat. I can't say I've met many Minskins! I'm sure there are other pet shops in the area that have Chihuahuas for sale. Miniature Pinschers are similar to Chihuahuas, too. But, Yorkshire Terriers are great dogs. You need to slowly introduce your new dog to your cat by letting the dog smell the cat's bedding. No store is required to have any return policy. I recommend enrolling your new dog in obedience classes. Once basic obedience is mastered, you can practice your dog's commands in front of Sparkles. If your dog tries to bark or chase Sparkles, move him away from her. Don't allow them to be together if you cannot supervise them.

 4) That is the stupidest thing I have read in a long while.
Troll bedtime is well past.

5) Another typical, pathetic little Troll question. Find another hobby because Trolling is not something you are any good at. By the way, there is no such thing as a minskin and this is how you spell Chihuahua, not Chiwawa. Find something more constructive to do with your time.

@ [Answer 3]. I don't know where you get your knowledge from but your advice is way off. You have never met a minskin because they don't exist, a Min Pin is not like a Chihuahua, you are supporting puppy mills by encouraging someone to buy from a pet store, etc... Before you answer a question, you need to educate yourself first, so you don't mislead others.

Flashback Friday

It’s been too long since I’ve updated this thing.  I’d like to blame it on the fact that my MacBook died about a year ago and I no longer have the luxury of countless hours of free time during my graveyard shift, but the fact is that Amy worked her TEE (Technology & Engineering Education) magic a couple of months ago and resurrected my laptop .  So really, I have no excuse other than the dreadful downfall of us Hansen kids-laziness. :/

I feel like there is so much that has happened since my last blog post. I don’t know why, but I feel like my life is a lot more eventful than the typical 26 year old.  This could be due to the fact that I am VERY easily entertained (I mean you kind of have to be when you don’t get out much as a kid and you spend every weekend with your 5 sisters pulling pranks on neighbors or throwing water balloons at incoming cars) or the fact that I constantly put myself in interesting or unusual situations at times.  So, in thinking of where I could possibly start, I thought it would be a nice casual-Friday post to bring back a blast from the past.  A couple months ago, my friend, Aubrey (who for some reason is one of my bigger blog fans/followers; or at least she pretends to be haha) came in town from New York and one night we went out to eat along with some other mutual friends at the local Malt Shoppe.  While there, the smell of grease and the fear of having my clothes and myself smell like grease (which happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves) must have tailspinned me into a posttraumatic stress trance.  It so happens that 8 years previously I actually worked in a very similar atmosphere, at the Creamery on 9^th, while attending my freshman year at BYU.  I then began to relate my various “hood-rat” stories and my “3 strikes” associated with my near termination.  I was kind of hesitant to blog about these follies of my youth, but Aubrey has been bugging me to document the ordeal on here, if nothing else for my posterity’s sake. Haha. So, without further ado, I present this flashback Friday.

As a freshman at BYU, you couldn’t have picked a more happening place to work than the Creamery on 9^th.  I mean everyone and there mother (and grandmother) literally went there.  It was especially the place to go for all freshman with meal plan cards, because you were able to buy groceries, grab a bite to eat at the grille, and/or go on a date to get ice cream.   It just so happened that my dorm room door was no more than 50ft from the Creamery, so it was only natural that I would land a job there.  Before moving my way up to primetime working the grill, I first began my college working career as an early morning janitor there.  I worked Monday-Friday starting at 7 a.m.  My shift was 4 hours long and by 8:30 a.m. I almost always was done with my daily chores.  I often spent the remainder of my time taking a nap on the men’s restroom toilet and/or getting my daily workout in while doing sit-ups and pushups in a locked bathroom stall (I promise it wasn’t that gross because I had already mopped and cleaned the bathroom and the stall was nice and spacious because it was handicap friendly :) hahaha). 

Now, on to the good stuff! After one semester of waking up daily at the crack of dawn, I got upgraded to 1^st class (aka working the evening shifts at the grille).  Work could not get any better.  I worked with one of my roommates on a 4-man team while my other roommate worked register at the grocery in the same store.  Let’s just say we had a little too much fun.  Sometimes we would just throw the football across the store with my other roommate at the grocery register.  However, mostly time was spent just hooking up friends with extra fries and larger-than-normal scoops of ice cream or spending the night flirting with our freshman lady friends that would come in to see (use?) us. Haha.   In fact, I still remember one of my favorite pick-up lines.  We had an ice cream called “Bishop’s Bash” and whenever a cute girl would ask what was in the Bishop’s Bash I would reply, “Chocolate, pecans, caramel, a little consecrated oil…” Usually they laughed or chuckled.  One time, this backfired on me when giving this response to a mom when asked what was in the Bishop’s Bash.  For the record, I was not trying to “pick her up”. It got so trivial that I would tell anyone who would ask what the Bishop Bash “recipe” was.  Anyways, she demanded to speak to my supervisor, and she chewed me out for being sacrilegious and she let me know that she did not find it funny.  In return, my supervisor just gave me a “slap on the wrist” and basically said to make sure that it didn't happen again. 

Speaking of being disciplined, I am reminded of the “hamburger incident.” One day at work we accidently made an extra hamburger.  I asked my Team Lead what we should do with it and she said to just give it away to a customer.  We made an announcement on the store intercom that anyone who wanted the extra hamburger could come and get it at the grill.  After a few minutes of waiting, I realized that no one was coming.  “Sweet! Free food,” I thought. I then asked my Team Lead if we could eat it since no one wanted it and I was shocked when she told me I couldn’t and that we had to throw it away.  “Throw it away?!? Yeah right,” I thought to myself. I then told her I would go “throw it away” in the back.  After taking the plate to the back I realized that it was not a good place because it was out in the open and an easy place to be spotted.  I then had a genius idea to retreat to my “quiet place” from my previous semester’s janitorial home-the Men’s Restroom! hahaha.  So there I was: apron on, hamburger in hand, standing near the sink, making sure the coast was clear to enjoy my free meal.  As I was taking my first bite the store manager walks in and sees me! I was caught, red hamburger handed! Wait, me get caught? I’m too good for that.  I played it off like it was no big deal. I placed the plate on top of the paper towel dispenser, washed my hands, grabbed the plate and walked out like I knew what I was doing. I then took the hamburger to the next best place where I thought I could eat in peace--the walk-in freezer! Hahaha. I then proceeded to eat the burger in the freezing peace and quiet and then I returned to work.

All was good until two days later I heard over the intercom, “Freddie, to the back office.” I meandered my way through the grocery aisles to the back office where the manager told me to take a seat.  He then asked me, “Do you know why I called you in?”  Wow, talk about a million-dollar question.  I was thinking of all the possible things that it could possibly be.  My mind was racing and sifting through all of the possible reasons: “I eat the gummy bears from the ice cream topping display, I let the little kids play on the intercom microphone, I don’t have my food handler’s permit, I planned an employee party after close that consisted of playing Super Market Sweep, I hooked my friends up with food...

Finally, I determined it best that he tell me in case I confessed to something that he didn’t know about.  “I have no idea,” I said. He then reminded me of our encounter in the bathroom from a few days prior.  How could I have forgotten? I mean, I guess I thought I played it off quite well, but nonetheless there I sat getting chastised for violating who knows how many health codes and store policies.  Maybe he would have cut me some slack had I told him I didn’t even have my Food Handler’s Permit; so in reality I was innocent? Nah, probably not the best idea.  I then was informed that if I made one more mistake I would receive my third “strike” and be let go. Apparently, he had marked me up for my first “strike” the one time my roommates and I showed up one night on one of our days off and hopped the counter, scooped ourselves ice cream, and left. We didn’t want to wait in the super long line in front of us.  Whoops. 

The last month of the semester I was constantly on edge, paranoid that I was going to get rung up for my last mishap.  I even laid off the amount of times I would sneak gummy bears from the topping displays.  I couldn’t take the stress anymore, so a week later I put in my two weeks notice.  Sometime during this period my roommate and I thought it would be funny to ditch work on the same day to leave the two other girls, who at times underappreciated us, alone to man the grill, ice cream, and register.  That didn’t go over too well.  My supervisor then informed me that I would have received my third “strike” but since the semester was almost over and I had a few days left that he would just let it go. Looking back, I realize I was really immature, but again grant me amnesty; I was a young mischievous lad. 

p.s. Shout-out  to my sister/best friend Sarah.  Happy Birthday!!! Love ya!

How do we honor mothers, ours and others?

So last week I was asked to give a talk in church on Mothers Day and thought I would just record this tribute to my mom. Love ya mama xoxo.

Good afternoon brothers and sisters. As you might have guessed, my topic has been connected with the themes of the other talks given this Mother’s Day on that of Mothers. My specific topic is “How do we honor mothers, ours and others?” In preparation for this talk I was thinking of some kind of intriguing story or funny joke to tell. However, the only thing that kept popping into my mind was “yo mama” jokes. Since that’s not happening, I’ve decided to scratch that idea and just get on with my talk.

Ironically, this is the 3rd time in 5 years that I’ve given a Mother’s Day talk. I’ve come to the conclusion that our bishopric and past bishoprics can see right through me and they all know that I’m a “mama’s boy.” It’s true—I am a “Mama’s Boy.” In fact, when I was in 7th grade my Language Arts class was given the assignment of making a “mentor doll” in honor of a mentor in our life. I know what you’re thinking; making dolls is more of an Arts and Crafts class assignment and not a Language Arts project. I promise, it didn’t seem that weird at the time. Plus, there were some other assignments that went along with this mentor project including poems and other writing assignments. So anyway, it turned out that I was the only boy in the class that chose my mother as my mentor, instead of a dad, athlete, or other influential male figure. I am proud to say that to this day, she is still my mentor and friend.

I understand that there may be some of you here today who perhaps have lost your mother or might not have the best relationship with them. I want you to know that the following message today is just as applicable to you in that we all have mother-like mentors or role models in our very own lives and the topic is not just on honoring our mothers, but other mothers as well and womanhood as a whole. Our church teaches the sacredness of motherhood and places it as the highest honor in human life. In a General Relief Society Meeting held some years ago Mary Foulger stated:
“We all stand in “awe:” at Mary’s assignment to be the mother of the Lord, but women, too have been called to be the mother of future gods. A humble responsibility and blessing. The very purpose of creation depends upon earthly mothers to bring His children unto eternal life.”

D&C 64:33 says, “be not weary in welldoing, for ye are laying the foundation for a great work” Indeed, there is none greater. President Heber J. Grant said, “Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die.”

We know from the 10 commandments that we need to “honor thy mother.” So, how do we honor mothers, ours and others?

A famed officer from the Civil War period when asked to name the incident of the Civil War that he considered the most remarkable for bravery, said that there was in his regiment a man whom everybody liked, a man who was brave and noble, who was pure in his daily life, absolutely free from dissipations in which most of the other men indulged. One night at a champagne supper, when many were becoming intoxicated, someone called for a toast from this young man. He arose, pale but with perfect self-control, and declared: “Gentlemen, I will give you a toast which you may drink as you will, but which I will drink in water. The toast that I have to give is, ‘Our mothers.’”
Instantly a strange spell seemed to come over all the tipsy men. They drank the toast in silence. There was no more laughter, no more song, and one by one they left the room. The lamp of memory had begun to burn, and the name of Mother touched every man’s heart.

Men turn from evil and yield to their better natures when mother is remembered. As a missionary there’s a saying to "be the missionary that your mother thinks you are” I propose that the way in which we honor mothers is by being the son or daughter they think we are. One certain way each can honor mother is to live the truths our mother and/or motherly role models so patiently taught.

President Hinckley once gave a talk entitled, “Lessons I learned as a Boy.” I wish to join him in my purpose of showing ways in which we honor mother by living the truths they taught.

The first lesson I wish to share is of Service and Charity. It is no mistake that the Relief Society motto is “Charity Never Faileth.” My mom is constantly serving. She has always been one to not only give rides to church for investigators and recent converts, but she also fellowships them. Growing up our house was known as “Hotel Hansen” because my mom was continually hosting random guests that needed a night or two to stay.( and in some instances-months!). I have also seen her selflessly give up her bedroom, and instead sleep on a blowup mattress in the hall. Another story that comes to mind was once while at an inner-city Burger King drive thru, my mom began chatting with the teenage boy at the register and she got to know him a little bit. After finding out that he had a lot of brothers and sisters and came form a less fortunate family, my mom grabbed my little brother’s X-BOX that happened to be in the car, and asked him if he thought he and his siblings would enjoy it. The young man's face lit up and gladly accepted it.

Joseph F. Smith said:
"Charity, or love, is the greatest principle in existence. If we can lend a helping hand to the oppressed, if we can aid those who are despondent and in sorrow, if we can uplift and ameliorate the condition of mankind, it is our mission to do it, it is an essential part of our religion to do it"

Not only is my mom great at giving service but she’s also a little too good and volunteering her children to serve. Some examples include: volunteering my sisters for babysitting in the neighborhood and church. She would also sign me up to go work with the missionaries. Once, I remember coming home from a long day of work the summer before I left on my mission and before I had time to eat or rest she told me that she told the neighbor I would come help move some furniture for her. Just a few weeks ago, my little brother updated his facebook status and it read, “Some random lady just called and asked what time would be good for me to cut her grass. She said mom told her I would be more than happy to do it. REALLY MOM?!?!?” hahaha. That made me laugh when I read it and it made me happy to know that my mom was teaching my youngest brother just as she had taught each and every one of my siblings to serve. I am truly grateful for the lessons that were instilled in me while growing up and for the most part to this day it comes as second nature. A great way for us to honor mothers is by doing that which they do so well—Love and Serve.

Another lesson I learned as a boy was to not pass over things for the next person to do and to leave things better than you found it. I recall one Saturday morning (or maybe it was more than one), my sisters and I were all woken up and directed to meet my mom in the guest bathroom downstairs. Supposedly one of us had forgotten to replace the toilet paper on the empty toilet paper holder. I guess this was a recurring incident in our household. My mom then made each of us take turns putting on the toilet paper roll then taking it off and repeating it 10 times. I know that may seem weird, but it was a simple message that has stuck with me. Do not pass over things for the next person to do. I also recall when on vacations my mom would not let the maids pick up after us during our whole stay. She would make us make the beds and tidy up. Who does that?

In The October 2011 Priesthood Session President Uchtdorf said:
“This very hour there are many members of the Church who are suffering. They are hungry, stretched financially, and struggling with all manner of physical, emotional, and spiritual distress. They pray with all the energy of their souls for succor, for relief.
Brethren, please do not think that this is someone else’s responsibility. It is mine, and it is yours. We are all enlisted. “All” means all—every Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood holder, rich and poor, in every nation. In the Lord’s plan, there is something everyone can contribute.”

Brethren, please let us not pass over problems that we can help with. Let us not assume that it is someone else's roomate, friend, neighbor, or hometeachee. Let's man up and take responsibility.

In closing, I would just like to share examples of two exemplary representatives that we can learn from of what it means to honor women. The first, is our current prophet, Thomas S. Monson. We are all aware that as a young bishop he brought it upon himself to visit each and every of the 80+ widows in his ward during the holidays. He literally lives, as James states, a “Pure religion” by “visit[ing] the fatherless and widows in their affliction.”

D&C 81:5: reads “Succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” Elder Wirthlin stated:

“At the final day the Savior will not ask about the nature of our callings. He will not inquire about our material possessions or fame. He will ask if we ministered to the sick, gave food and drink to the hungry, visited those in prison, or gave succor to the weak. When we reach out to assist the least of Heavenly Father’s children, we do it unto Him. That is the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

President Monson has been a great model of how we should honor mothers/women. The last and greatest example I would like to talk about on how to honor mothers is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. During the last moments of his mortal life while on the cross, Christ sees his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing by. He speaks: “Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother!”

Of this scripture, President Monson says,
“From that awful hour when time stood still, when the earth did quake and great mountains were brought down—yes, through the annals of history, over the centuries of years and beyond the span of time—there echoes His simple yet divine words, “Behold thy mother. As we truly listen to that gentle command and with gladness obey its intent, gone forever will be the vast legions of “mothers forgotten.” Everywhere present will be “mothers remembered,” “mothers blessed,” and “mothers loved”; and, as in the beginning, God will once again survey the workmanship of His own hand and be led to say, “It is very good.”’
“May each of us treasure this truth: One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one.”

Testimony (We can honor mother by living the truths they so patiently taught.)

Free Bunnies!

So last Friday night I got a little bored and talked my roommates out of going to bed in order to engage in a prank for our newly acquired roommate, Brett. We felt like we hadn’t truly “initiated” him into our apartment yet. I recalled a funny prank that a coworker pulled on me a couple years ago, when she placed an ad on ksl.com for a killer deal for MY car without me knowing. I remember how confused I was leaving the temple that day and seeing that I had about 10-15 missed calls and texts of people asking to “check out” my car. haha. Luckily, I was able to diffuse that bomb before it escalated and went home and removed that advertisement from the web.

We decided to do something similar with Brett, but I wanted to incorporate Easter since it was coming up in the next couple of days. I noticed that there was a category for “Free Pets” on the classified page on KSL and so I came up with a brilliant idea to give away FREE BUNNIES (from Brett) the day before Easter. Hahaha. Here is the advertisement that I posted:

I got the following text that next morning from Brett: “ALRIGHT. Who put my name and number on ksl advertising for pet bunnys?! I have had to disappoint three mothers already lol.” I played it off like I didn’t know what he was talking about. He had work from 8-12 that morning and when he got home he stormed in all flustered and confused. It was hilarious! You would have to know Brett to fully appreciate his histrionics in times of unfortunate circumstances. *side note: One night he had come home shuffling in the door shivering and barely able to speak. He had just returned from driving home through the canyon for an hour and a half, where he had given a Fireside on his recent return from his mission in England. He must have still been in the moment of being back in England because he got pulled over for driving on the wrong side of the road! Hahaha. He went to roll down the passenger window, but the officer came to his window so he had to roll down his driver side window. Not that big of a deal, if it weren’t for the fact that his windows don’t roll back up. Hahahaha. Poor Brett. He drove all the way back in the snow with both windows rolled down. His story and reaction that night was priceless! This is just one of the many funny Brett stories of unfortunate events. Haha* Anyways, back to the bunny story--on his walk home from work he had received 7 calls alone! Hahaha. My roomates and I still played it cool as if we didn’t know what he was talking about. He said there were tons of moms wanting the bunnies. The phone calls started rolling in starting at 6:40 am. He said that "Creepy Carol" woke him up letting him know that she WANTED two of his bunnies. She didn't even mention his advertisement so he told this "pervert" (so he thought) that she had the wrong number and he hung up on her. By the third call he realized that it was too big of a coincidence that people thought he was some kind of generous bunny breeder. Haha.

My favorite call he received, though, was Marco (from Tropoya? Haha). He wanted too many details on the bunnies from the message that he left. The way he sounded, I’m pretty sure he wanted to have a nice Easter bunny meal. It was so funny listening to all these ladies leave all these “flirty” messages trying to insure themselves of a pick from the litter. So anyways, I finally cracked and couldn’t stop laughing from hearing him relate all the calls he got. He got over 50 calls! I don’t think he knew how to take down the ad, so I just updated it to “sold.” Brett took it really well (I think) and we are able to laugh about it now. On a related note, check out this more elaborate prank that Amy’s coworker and his friends did (they even made the news):

All in a Hard Day's Work

Well, I figured ever since I've graduated from BYU I should probably be documenting the things going on in my life. To start off, I was prompted to move back home to Louisiana to find a job since Utah was not producing any leads. Since arriving home, I have had a few jobs offered to me, but I just haven't felt good about any of them until this one that I recently just accepted(or so I thought) So, last week I had an interview with a temp agency and it went really well. She had me placed within a day for a job at a local Health Center. She told me that I would be a bilingual patient coordinator or something like that. She made it sound really important and that there was plenty of room for growth within the company. Upon arriving for my first day on the job, I discovered that the place I would be working at was a walk-in health clinic in the ghetto, just a few blocks from the Walmart on Tchoupitoulas. I was given a quick tour of the facility and then I was redirected to the front desk, where I would be working(not the picture of the job that had been so beautifully painted by the Temp Hirer) I knew instantly this temp job was just that-temporary. I would not be lasting long. While at the front desk, I was given no responsibilities. I just sat there and watched the other 2 front desk workers call up patients and check them in and direct them to their appointments. O by the way, in case you were wondering, the two girls that were working in the front desk with me were named Jenarra(sp? pronounced juh-nar(like car)-uh) and Kelon(key-lawn). I wrote their names down immediately, knowing that I would forget them. In fact, every five minutes I was taking a glance at my notebook to remember how to pronounce Jenarra's name.

All but 15 minutes of this job was spent doing nothing but staring at a wall. Well i guess not the whole time. There were some entertaining things I saw go down. I felt like I was in the movie "Barber Shop". Jenarra and Kelon seemed to know almost all the patients, fed ex deliverers and random members of the hood just stoppin by to cool off in the AC haha. Also, most of the patients that would come to this clinic were there to get there free mammogram. Multiple old women would just come up to the window and tell me there boobs hurt. haha speaking of mammograms, this one drunk older black guy came in off the street and somehow snuck in the locked door passage way and began roaming around. He began asking where the mammogram women were, hoping to find them naked, only dressed in robes waiting to be seen by the doctor. haha. we had to kick him out quick. There were so many other crazy things I saw; like a schizophrenic lady who would change tones of her voice from high to low as if in different conversation, ladies wearing "hurricane katrina survivor" tshirts, an old man in a walker telling me to pass him the "operation protect" fishbowl bucket, full of condoms, so he could grab the biggest handful possible to stuff his pockets, while slowly strolling out, a suicidal man claiming he needed his refill prescription of valium "now", ladies complaining that they could have spent their $20 co-pay on a few pounds of crawfish and crabs. . . Leo, bony-Bob, Cliff. . . I could go on forever baby! hahaha
Anyways, as entertaining as that one day was, I knew it wasn't long-term, so that same night I decided to just quit right then in order to save both me and them the time. Soooo, you probably wondered why I have that one pic of the asian/latino at the header of this blog. . .It's a long story, but I guess it's worth explaining. Last night Levi and I were looking for jobs on craigslist. A few minutes into it, we clicked on the salon/spa/fitness employment tab and found this little gem:

This was just too good to pass up. I knew then that we just HAD to respond to this ad. Levi handed me the keyboard and I just began typing away. Here was my response:

"hello there sir/mam. i was writing to inquire about your posting for ASIAN,CAUCASIAN ,HISPANIC,LATINO,MEXICAN MODELS. before "discussing compensation" i just had a few questions.
1) are you looking for male or female models?
2) do you need prior modeling experience?
3) is it acceptable if we are only bred in just 2 of the races mentioned ABOVE?
4) you are probably wondering what is meant by "we" in the aforementioned question #3?
5) We= my friend(who is mix bred also) and I :)
6) do the free haircuts come with coloring also?
7) How long are the photoshoots?
8) in which magazine will the pictures be appearing?

OK. . on to the compensation discussion:
my first offer: 2 hot bods for haircut, styling, coloring, and a $20 gift certificate to Target
I will be awaiting the counteroffer. If you would like pics please let me know ;)
-Guillermo H."

Golden!!! the best part was that within ten minutes he replied! He said, "Give me a call, my name is Moses" and then left his phone number. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
please let me know of things we should talk about if/when I call Moses. hahaha

Don't Mess With The Jimmer

Meet Jimmer Fredette:




He is the starting point guard for the BYU Basketball team and arguably the most exciting player to watch in college basketball this season. Averaging over 27 points per game, Jimmer is currently in the running for the National Player of the Year Award. Jimmer has quickly become one of the most respected and loved basketball players in the country. After posting 47 points against Utah earlier in the season, Jimmer's popularity amongst America has quickly grown. Jimmermania is sweeping across the nation. He has been all over tv programs, sportscenter, radio shows, websites, twitter, etc. In Provo, he is reverenced. He is worshiped. He is idolized. Apparently there is one BYU student who doesn’t get the hype. Here is a letter to the editor of the school's Daily Universe that she wrote entitled "Idol Worship":

"I can’t walk across campus without hearing Jimmer Fredette’s name a dozen times. His name comes up everywhere: in class, at work, during lunch … really, people? Cut it out with the Jimmer worship. Last time I checked, idol worship was very much frowned upon in the scriptures.
Don’t you have a life to live? Then quit wasting it in front of the TV or in lines at the Marriott Center.
At the very least, stop trying to convert those of us who don’t follow BYU sports and don’t care that baseball and badminton are two different things. Pushing basketball on us isn’t going to make us like it any better.
I’m not blaming Jimmer for all this; was it Nephi’s fault in the Book of Mormon when his brothers worshiped him? As far as I’m concerned, Jimmer is perfectly free to live his dreams. If he reaches his goals and lives his dreams, more power to him. I would like the same courtesy from his fans: let me live my own dreams in peace, even if they don’t include ever sitting in the Marriott Center screaming my brains out.

Michelle Peralta
Apple Valley, Calif."


Unfortunately for the Jimmer-unbeliever, she signed the letter with her real name. To make matters worse, she posted a status update to her PUBLIC Facebook wall a few hours later:
"just wrote another irritated letter to the editor of the BYU newspaper. I hope this doesn't turn into a habit"

Last night I was on a BYU message board (cougarboard.com) and saw that someone had posted that her profile was open to comment on. Literally within seconds of reading this I went to her status and watched as the comments poured in. It went from 4 comments to about 27 in literally 2 minutes. In the next hour the responses to her status went viral. I was seriously crying laughing at some of the comments. Within an hour she had over 250 comments on her status. It took her until this morning when she had over 500 comments that she finally changed her facebook settings to private. Luckily someone archived all the comments for us here. Unfortunately, I was too busy laughing my head off and "liking" comments that I didn't get to contribute to her erupting status. Most of the comments were very creative, however there were a few that were a little too over the top blasphemous. Here are just a few of my favorite comments:

"You are hereby invited to attend the first church of the Jimmer! We worship every Wednesday night and Saturday afternoon."

"Wow, glad I finally finished reading this thread. Now I can brush my teeth, pray to Jimmer, and go to bed."

"One time the BYU basketball team was walking on the beach and they looked backed and only saw one set of footprints!"

"looks like your facebook page just got jimmered"

"If this thread goes down, Jimmer will resurrect it, he has that power. You know that now, right Michelle?"

So anywho, this story went viral overnight and was talked about on radio shows, internet articles, and sports websites.

Here is an invitation that FrontRowFanatics has sent Mrs. Michelle Peralta:

Scripture Power

Today I completed The Book of Mormon. I don’t even know how many times I’ve read it, but I’ve learned it really doesn’t matter the number of times its read, rather, more importantly is the consistent daily reading from its words. Bruce R. McConkie said, “I sometimes think that one of the best-kept secrets of the kingdom is that the scriptures open the door to the receipt of revelation… All of us are entitled to the sprit of prophecy and of revelation in our lives, both for our personal affairs and in our ministry. The prayerful study and pondering of the holy scriptures will do as much, or more than any other single thing, to bring that spirit, the sprit of prophecy and spirit of revelation, into our lives.” Dallin H. Oaks added, “The idea that scripture reading can lead to inspiration and revelation opens the door to the truth that a scripture is not limited to what it meant when it was written but may also include what that scripture means to a reader today. Even more, scripture reading may also lead to current revelation on whatever else the Lord wishes to communicate to the reader at that time . . . However talented men may be in administrative matters; however eloquent they may be in expressing their views; however learned they may be in worldly things they will be denied the sweet whisperings of the Spirit that might have been theirs unless they pay the price of studying, pondering, and praying about the scriptures.” Finally, Merrill J. Bateman said, “A casual, infrequent exposure to the scriptures will generally not open the door to the whisperings of the Spirit or provide insights.” I have seen the biggest difference when I read my scriptures daily, versus a casual reading here and there. I feel a lot more at peace and feel happier. Sundays are not the only days in which I feel the Spirit regularly now. President Eyring said, "If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost today, you may take it as evidence that the Atonement is working in your life. For that reason and many others, you would do well to put yourself in places and in tasks that invite the promptings of the Holy Ghost."

The prophet Joseph Smith said of the Book of Mormon: “a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.” It still baffles me how anyone could read this book and deny the words that are in it. Moroni states, “And if there be faults they be the faults of a man. But behold, we know no fault; nevertheless God knoweth all things; therefore, he that condemneth , let him be aware lest he shall be in danger of hell fire.”

I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. I have seen it change my life and many others. I know that Joseph Smith translated it through the power of God and through this book we may know that Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet in these last days. And if Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet, then the authority and priesthood given to him is the authority of God on Earth. With this authority, I know we can be baptized in Christ’s church to enter the kingdom of God and be sealed with our families in God’s temples in order to live together forever with our families.

Also, here is an awesome testimony from a Latter-day Apostle, Jeffrey R. Holland: