The Chronicles of Costco

It's been a while since my last post. A lot has happened since my resignation as bilingual patient coordinator at the Hood Clinic Health Clinic. Unfortunately, I never followed through with Moses for my potential ASIAN,CAUCASIAN,HISPANIC,LATINO,MEXICAN Model gig. I will forever be haunted by the "what ifs" of a potential, blossoming career as a magazine model. O well.

My optimistic future of single adult life in Louisiana did not last long. Shortly after my attempt of finding a fitting job in New Orleans, I was impressed to move back to Utah. It's funny how I was inspired to leave Provo, only to find my self moving right back. I am grateful, though, for the time I was able to spend at home this past summer. Aside from being with my mom and little brother, I was able to spend a lot of quality time with Maw Maw and Paw Paw Bourgeois.

Upon returning to Provo, I once again began the hunt for a job. After a few odd jobs, temp jobs, and 2 days as an employee on the bottom of a sketchy pyramid scheme, I finally received a phone call for my dream job (or so I thought hahaha)-- a Costco employee! I mean, really, who doesn't love Costco? You always hear of how great the benefits are and how people love working there. I could just see myself now: Arriving to work, putting on a cool apron, wheeling out a sample display, unwrapping a box of taquitos, placing the taquitos in the microwave, cutting them in to bite-sized pieces with scissors, and then being the most loved person in the world by allowing little kids and cheap moms to sneak more than one sample. If that's not the American dream then I don't know what is. However, my daydreaming drool was quickly wiped away when learning that I was to be hired as a morning food stocker. And by morning food stocker I mean being done with work before shoppers even arrive for Costco to be open. That means that my shifts would begin at 5 and occasionally 4am. Ok, I could still do this. How bad could it really be? Let's just say by day 3, I was already devising a way to quit. Here is an interchange of texts between my bff Levi and myself.

Ok, ok, i know what you're thinking- I'm over-exaggerating. But really, even the Mexican guy that got hired the same time as me treated me like Cinderella. For example, sometimes he would come over and ask to borrow my pallet jack for "2 minutes"(Costco seems to have more workers than they do pallet jacks so not everyone is supplied with one) A half hour would go by and I would have to trace him down and retrieve my pallet jack. I guess borrow means takes to this hombre. Speaking of borowing, he would come up to me at work and ask to "borrow" some money so he could get a drink from the vending machine. haha. Not a chance!

So, I mentioned that I worked with a dwarf that drove a forklift. Here is a picture for proof. This was not the only mystical being I worked with. I also had the opportunity of working with elves and fairies. Ok, not really elves. However, my immediate boss was shorter, had pointy ears and a goatee and just reminded me of an elf. It didn't help either, that the seasonal Costco Christmas displays were up. It was just that much more fitting that I felt like I was in Santa's workshop. So, anywho, I'll refer to him as "Papa Elf." Anyways, Papa Elf would boss me around and just give me the odd jobs to do, along with the jobs that no one else wanted to do. One day he made me clean ALL the windows in the fridge and freezer sections of the store. I couldn't feel my fingers by the end of the shift. Other days he would put me on the heavy lifting aisles. Another day he had me working in the walk-in fridge. The worst thing he did, however was come up with the "buddy system." *Side note there is a worker there that creeped me out. He was a little femmy, and would blast music from his radio mainly consisting of lady gaga type music. I have just described the fairy I was referring to haha.* Papa Elf decided that he wanted to pair up the new employees with veteran workers so that we could be trained and shown the ropes. Yup, you guessed it--I got to be "buddied" with the fairy. Halfway through working with him, the first question he asked me was, "What's your situation?" I took this to mean whether or not I was still in school, why I'm working at Costco, etc. After telling him my "situation" I learned this was not the question he had implied because he quickly rephrased his question by: "Are you married?" EEWWWWW. I didn't know quite how to reply, but I did make sure to let him know that I was "strictly chickly" hahaha.

In the mean time, I had been interviewing with a few different companies and just this past Friday I received a job offer for a financial representative position. I was sure to notify Costco the same day that I would no longer be working for them. They had me fill out some paperwork and issued me my last paycheck. What did I do to celebrate, you might ask? Well, Amy and I went to a Halloween store and bought another granny mask to replace a different one we lost the previous year. hahaha. I'm weird I know, but hey-simple pleasures. And here is the granny mask in action with Amy doing a little impromptu dance.



and just for good time sakes, you can compare the differences from our old mask. here is a video I took of Shane when we were screwing around one night. hahaha